Normal Is A Good Thing

I'm over at Christian Women's Online Network today. How about popping over there and checking out my post? I'll love ya forever. If you like it please let me know by clicking the "like button" and/or leave a comment and we'll talk about the post. I believe you'll want to once you read it.

Today’s post is a prompt from The Red Dress Club, Red Writing Hood. we were asked to repost our favorite Red Writing Hood prompt. Here it is and I hope you'll fall in love with the heroine Lina. This is a continuation from her story. If your interested in her past read I Never Left Her, The Prison Cell From Hell.

The buzzer buzzed and the large metal door opened. She walked through to the other side with a slow shuffle, making her way to the long table in the middle of the visitor’s area. Her visitors would be there soon, her babies would see her once again in this horrid place. They would smell the rancid body odor, see and hear things they shouldn’t and feel the shame… again.

Ben and Lacey lived with her sister now. Lynn had a spare bedroom with twin beds set up, ready and waiting for them the very day Lina was sent away to prison. The sisters had tried to better prepare the kids for their mother’s long absence by taking them shopping at Wal-Mart to pick out comforter sets. Kids get excited when they get new things right? The tears came quickly as she thought about the hugs and kisses they willingly gave her for the new bed sets and McDonald’s Happy meals on that last shopping day.

Did they understand what she had done? Could they love her knowing the kind of person she was? Forgiveness, was that even possible? Lina sat staring down at her hands. Thoughts of what those hands had done ran through her mind. Life could have been so different…

Every month when Lynn brought the kids to visit the same dread, shame, and guilt plagued her as she sat there waiting.  She felt like a  coward  during their time together.  Apologies, tears, and sorrow seemed to command their time as the three of them tried to be some sort of a family while in such a cold, barren place. Lina didn’t want this for her kids.
 “God,” she whispered, “let this time with my babies be sweet and special. You know how much I love them, let them know it too. Please take this shame and guilt away from me just for a little while. Maybe if I don't feel it they won't either.”

As Lina lifted her head Ben and Lacey ran to her, hugging her furiously, but were immediately whisked away by a tall female guard standing close by. They knew the drill but were determined to  hug their momma before getting caught.

Each had drawn a picture for Lina. Both were excited to show her their pictures and argued about  which one she would look at first. Lina took both in her hands at the same time.

Ben’s drawing was of a house full of people, 1 car in the driveway, and a woman standing large and tall in the middle of the crowd. He said, “That’s you Momma. You’re bigger than everybody else cause your specialer than everybody else.” Lina blew a kiss across the table to her little man.

Lacey’s drawing had 3 large red hearts and many smaller pink hearts all over the paper. She explained in her familiar analytical way, "See, the 3 red hearts are me, Ben and Auntie Lynn and all the little pink hearts," pointing as she spoke," are us telling you over and over we love you, we love you!” Lacey's arms outstretched wide as she demonstrated to her momma how much they loved her. Where was the shame in that?

Today the three didn’t talk about forgiveness, or about how sorry Lina was for things, or how she should have been a better mother… No, today they talked about school, friends, Lacey’s new doll's clothes and Ben's 2nd base position on his baseball team.

Today Lina was a good mother who had raised loving, caring, smart kids. She even forgot for a while where she was and why she was there. Prayer answered.

On this visitor's day Lina, Lacey and Ben were just a normal, ordinary family and that’s a good
thing.



Don't forget to check out my other blog Grace Full Women for an encouraging word or two with a little inspiration added in and a lot of God's love to boot.

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She Remains

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

I didn’t know what to expect that first time I walked in her home. As I walked through her purposefully decorated living room to the kitchen I felt a little uncomfortable. My home was usually in disarray because I was raising small children and my housekeeping skills had not been perfected. So I was a little out of place when I stepped into a Better Homes and Garden magazine.

She was neatly dressed in jeans, a button up shirt and her hair perfectly set. Where was I, in a Leave It To Beaver episode?

I was escorted to her kitchen table which was already set with “real" plates, silverware, goblets, and cloth napkins. Did she keep it like this all the time or was this for me? I have to admit I felt special and she meant for me to feel that way.  Over at my house we used paper plates, cups and napkins. The easier the better. I later found out she had always used her good dishes even when her children were small. This lady was classy and refined and I wanted to learn what I could from
her.

As a young woman I was impulsive and said and did things on a whim. She taught me what it meant to think before I spoke and later I understood that I should do the same before acting too. My mentor gently and wisely taught me how to be teachable.

I have watched her world almost fall apart and yet she remains. She remains in Him just as Christ tells us to do in John 15.

 Because she remains I have a godly woman to follow.

Because she remains her family stays strong.

Because she remains many others see Jesus every day.

And because she remains her legacy will go on.

We have been in ministry together for many, many years and I’ve grown because of my encourager. There is so much I could say but there is not enough space here or anywhere to contain all she’s taught me. The love I’ve received and had the privilege to give in this relationship has been one of the most special gifts the Lord has given to me.

I am blessed to have her on my side and I consider this woman my friend, mentor and partner in the greatest call we have on our lives, loving others to Jesus. Thank you N.

This was written in response to a prompt from The Red Dress Club. Write about a mentor, someone who guided or inspired you. How did your mentor impact your life?

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Safari In Georgia? See for Yourself

Hubs and I went on a short anniversary trip to Callaway Gardens this past weekend. While away we stopped of at a safari here in Georgia. Yes I know it sounds lame and we thought it might be a dud too. But we're getting old and wild animals sticking their heads in our car sounded like a bit of a thrill. We went for it! I'm sharing some of the excitement with you today.

[caption id="attachment_1646" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Love this photo of my babe and me."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1648" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Zebra wishing he could have more food."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1651" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="We steered clear of this steer."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1652" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Some kind of bull with horns that turned up."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1653" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My favorite baby in the whole place."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1654" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Three little pigs."][/caption]

Ok so I guess after looking at the pics it looks to you more like a drive thru farm/safari than a wild safari right? Well there was the giraffe and the zebra you saw them and an ostrich which I did not post. And there was an element of danger with that big steer, bull animal coming at us! And the deer and other cows and stuff trying to eat our hands. And the drool was so gross and the big tongues, you did see the big tongues right?! Also what you haven't seen yet is the Walk About part. The animals were all caged but there were tigers and lions and bears oh my! I have pics to prove it.

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A Child and His Grief

He ran up through the backyard as fast as his little legs would carry him. With a small shovel in hand he finally reached Pa’s screened back door. Knocking hard he yelled,” Pa! Pa! Let me in, I have a prize!” The shovel now hid behind his back.

Pa opened the door and JJ came in stumbling across the walkway, holding on to the shovel as if it were his bedtime bear. “What kinda prize?”

Quickly bringing the red shovel out from behind him he said, “I brought my shovel so we can dig to China.” The excitement exuded from his little voice.

JJ loved Pa as much as his own dad. Pa taught him how to catch a baseball.  Plant tomato plants in the garden. In fact JJ had his own plant that he watered and cared for every day. Pa put JJ on his first tricycle, and even helped potty train him. These two did almost everything together.

Pa got his big shovel and JJ had his little red one.  Searching the yard they found the perfect spot behind the pecan tree. The digging began. “How deep do we have to dig 'fore we see China?”

“Don’t know son. It may take us a few weeks, or months.” Pa stopped to take a draw off his cigarette, sweat dripping from his forehead. Breathing harder than usual and coughing now and then. But he kept digging with JJ until the hole was almost a foot deep and just as wide.

“Can we dig some more tomorrow?”

“Yeah, after school. You bring your shovel and we’ll dig a little more.”

The two hard workers went inside to get a drink. Kool-Aid for JJ and a beer for Pa. They sat down on the couch, with JJ as close to Pa as he could get.  They watched Road Runner and fell asleep, JJ’s head on Pa’s shoulder.

One day after school JJ’s mom told him Pa was in the hospital.

A few weeks later she told him Pa was  leaving to go to heaven.

JJ went to visit Pa. To say good-bye? A boy of 9 years old just couldn’t grasp the meaning of heaven. Didn’t understand he would never see Pa again.

Did it mean the dig to China was over? How about the 'mater plants, how would they ever live? What  about bicycle lessons, basketball, pop flies in the outfield? He promised.

Confusion.

Anger.

Grief.

Darkness.

Lonliness.

Hurt.

JJ would not get close to anyone again. He’d keep his distance. It wasn’t worth the pain. Lesson learned.

.

This week's prompt, from Angela and Galit at The Red Dress Club for RemembeRed was to write a post that either starts or ends with the words "Lesson learned."

A true story about my son and my father.

How To Make Memories With A Grown Up Daughter

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My daughter took me on a 4 day vacation to Charleston South Carolina last week. I believe it was the best time we have ever had together as mother and daughter. This trip was my birthday present from her and I got to choose the place I wanted to go. So since I've become intrigued with American history at the age of 47 Charleston was the logical choice and its close to home.

We talked the whole drive up there and back, visited historical sites, ate at some great restaurants, took a few tours, went to the beach for a few hours and visited the market place.

I have to tell you with all the great things we did my favorite was the time we had alone laughing and talking in the hotel room, the car, walking, and while laying on the beach. I prayed before we left for God to let this be a time of memory making for both of us. A time we would never forget. And He answered that prayer and then some. The Fox (her blog name) and I were blessed beyond measure many times with great parking, seating, discount tickets, and other things. Some might say it is because we are two beautiful women and I could agree but I really believe its cause we are highly favored as children of God.

I broke out my new Sony camera and the pics are unbelievable, so clear and real. When you see some of them you'll think you are actually there. Or you'll wish you were there.





[caption id="attachment_1593" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Hyman's restaurant"][/caption]



[caption id="attachment_1600" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Peek a Boo"][/caption]

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The Man Next To Me

This week's prompt for RemembeRed asked us to write about a time that rhythm, or a lack thereof, played a role in your life. And don’t use the word “rhythm.” I'm not really a poet but I like to give it a shot once in a while. Concrit welcomed.



The man next to me is strong, virile and mine,

In his slumber he breathes in and out, slow and loud

I bind my ears with my own hands to silence the sound

But he is next to me, strong, virile and mine.





The man next to me is tall, dark and handsome

He sleeps so deeply he knows nothing of me

Head covered by plush pillows I cannot see

But he is next to me tall, dark and handsome.





The man next to me labors hard to provide

His eyes close at the door of day’s end

Mouth opens and out comes an ear shattering wind

But the man next to me labors hard to provide.





The man next to me is friend, lover and spouse

But tonight I’ve rolled him over, to the door and out of the house.

A Grown Up Orphan

A friend of mine lost her mother to cancer last week. Her father died in April of the same horrible disease. I'm just wondering how a woman gets through such a thing! I mean really how devastating to wake up one morning and realize you are now parentless. But for it to happen in such a short span of time. While she was still mourning one parent the other one passes. Seems like too much grief for just one person.

I was a grown woman the day I realized I was an orphan. It's strange to have parents who love and care about you all your life then one day they're both gone. Left me empty. Feeling alone, though I wasn't. My friend must be feeling alone now even though she's surrounded by family and friends. No other person can fill that void, that space that your mom filled.

Over time I decided to go for some counseling. It helped me over the hump. I prayed a lot for God to help me get up out of the pit I was in. He did. The loneliness finally went away and now I like to be alone. To think, to write, to remember.

I am confident she will find her way back to herself but the journey is long, hard, deep and painful. Although no one can fill that void, that space, God can heal and help her to move on with life. He helped me. He will help you.

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What Does A Woman Want?

[caption id="attachment_1490" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The women in my family"][/caption]

In thinking about what women really want out of life I guess I can only speak for myself then see if anybody else can relate. This is the second part to an article I wrote entitled What Do Women Want published at Christian Women's Online Network a few weeks ago. That article came from the perspective of many women I have talked to over the years. See if you agree with me on  these 15 points.

1-    I want to grow mentally, spiritually, and creatively every day.

2-    I don’t want to grow old on the outside but I know it’s inevitable. I try to slow it down with hair color, face moisturizer and drinking lots of vitamin water ahh but alas I turned 47 yesterday.

3-    I want to make decisions about my life based on what I want but when there are others involved, decisions have to be made based on how it affects everyone.

4-    I want to continue to live out my God given dreams without the feeling that I can’t finish it. Confidence!

5-    I want a man who will die for me. I have one.

6-    I want my children to be filled with pure joy. I don’t think they are… yet. Praying about that one.

7-    I do not want to be a people pleaser but a God pleaser. Pleasing God is so much easier than pleasing people. He just wants me to be me they want me to be someone I’m not.

8-    I want support from friends and family in the ventures toward my dreams. I do and will continue to support them.

9-    I want respect. You’ll always get it in return from me and usually even if you don’t give it to me.

10-  I need love to survive. Unconditional love. Not a love based on what I do right or wrong, just love no matter what. A love similar to God’s love. His love can’t be earned. He loves me no matter how bad I screw up or how awesome I do something, it never changes.

11-  I want my kids to fulfill their God given dreams. Well first they need to find those dreams, and then follow them. I will help them succeed any way I can.

12-  I want my husband to know real love. My love is real but insufficient for him. I want him to know God’s love fully and completely.

13-  I never want to feel like I just exist. I’ve been there done that and life without purpose is no life at all.

14-  I want to be an encouragement to others. That may present itself in different ways to different people but everyone needs to know they are valued.

15-  I want chocolate. It’s that simple. Give me chocolate and you have a friend.

What do you want? No really. In the comments section tell us one or more things you want even if it’s the same as on my list.

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From Such A Hell To Such A Time As This

This is a repost from February. Since it's July 4th I thought it would be fitting to post again.





I spoke with an 89 year old man this week. His life has been inspiring to others and quite an experience for him. He and his wife have been married 67 years and have lived through decades of difficult times as well as times of joy.

The story that has stuck in my mind is the one about his time in WWII. I’ve never met a POW until now and I have to say I have a new respect, a new pain for the men and women of our military.

A was drafted in the U.S. Army in 1944. He was in Belgium with his infantry unit during the most famous battle in WWII the Battle of the Bulge. The German soldiers began directing fire to his unit so his infantry unit tried to return to their camp. This is when A was wounded by enemy fire and captured by Nazi soldiers. He was taken to a prison camp where he and many other prisoners of war were held until they were liberated by General Montgomery and his British soldiers. During the time he was a prisoner from Dec. 1944 to April 1945, he lost 98 lbs. due to malnutrition and lack of proper medical treatment to his wound.

I am trying to reconcile my feeling of such despise for soldiers who treated A in such a horrible way and knowing I shouldn’t despise others. Maybe I should just feel sorry for them. I know forgiveness is in order and perhaps that is how A has managed to get through such horrible circumstances.

Imagining how hungry I get going 6 or 7 hours without food it is hard to think of A being so hungry for so long that he lost 98 lbs. How hungry would you be, how horrible, how painful, how could one human do that to another?
I have seen the pictures of the POW camps, watched the horrific documentaries but to know someone who was tortured by these barbaric men brings it on home. To know there really are human beings in existence that have so little value for life is beyond belief yet it is true.

What would it take to cause a human being to be willing to go to the extremes these men went to in order to destroy other people? In my own heart I wonder is there anything that could cause me to turn on my fellow man in such a way. I have heard the Nazi soldiers were afraid that Hitler would kill them and their families had they not done his bidding. Would that be enough to push me to the far side of hell? I pray to God that I could stand in His strength should ever a persecution come to the U.S.

I am thankful that I have been given the opportunity to meet this man, this man who has lived a full life despite what could have been a life shattering experience. There are no coincidences and A was kept alive and rescued for reasons known only to God Himself. Somehow I suspect A’s two sons, five grandchildren and eight great grandchildren could tell me why they think he’s here.

I do not know where he stands in faith but I do know God brought him home from such a hell for such a time as this. Esther 4:14. I’m so glad I was here at this time to meet him.

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Out Of Her Comfort Zone

She had lots of friends who weren’t from my crowd. To look at us you’d never believe we were compatible. She smoked in the school bathroom; I was scared to go in there most the time. Her crowd was the cool, tough bunch while mine was the mediocre athletic, nerdy types.

I can’t remember our first words to each other but we clicked and that was the start of a lifelong friendship. Crys introduced me to her brother, a popular tough guy. We went on a double date and another lifelong relationship was made that night. I met the guy of my dreams and married him 2
years later. Thanks for that.

You’d have to know Crys to understand that she’s never really been the emotional kind, not lovey dovey, or huggy. I on the other hand cry at the drop of a hat, love anything sentimental and hug a lot. So you’ll understand when I found the letter why it made me cry all over again thinking
of her.

My dad passed away 11 years ago. It was one of saddest, most unbelievable times of my life. I have written several posts about him and if you’ve read any of them you know he was my hero and I was his princess. Crys doesn’t like to show emotion and she’s not big on funerals so she stayed at my
mom’s house the day of the funeral and cleaned and prepared for visitors. This meant more than she’ll ever know.  We never really took the time to talk about his death because I knew and I think
she knew we’d just end up in a bawling session. That day she did her thing and I did mine, and we hugged good bye when it was all over.

A few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from her. She expressed how sorry she was that I had lost my dad. The letter was about a page long and her words touched me so.  I can’t explain how much it helped me at that time. Crys showed my family love by all the things she had “done” because that’s her way of giving love. The special thing about it is that Crys knew I needed a different kind of love, a letter of love. Even though it took her out of her comfort zone she
went there, she did it for me and I will never forget it. As I write this post now big tears well up in my eyes because I am reminded of this thoughtful loving thing Crys did just for me.

I ran across that letter just the other day and as I read it again the memories flooded back to all the times we’ve been there for each other. I write this to tell Crys “I love you. You are never forgotten. You are my sister. You are beautiful inside and out and I’m thankful to God for putting
you in my life.”

The letter is neatly folded and remains in the box with what I have left of my dad's belongings.

I am thankful to The Red Dress Club  for this prompt.  It is a post that needed to be written a long time ago. Here's the prompt:

You or your character find a forgotten letter or card from someone important in
your life--whether good or bad.  What does it say?  How does it affect you or
your character?  What is done with it?

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What Do Men Want?

I heard a sermon yesterday on my way to church. The pastor was listing things men needed to help them be the best they could be. I certainly agreed with him on most everything so I thought I’d share. There aren’t many men who read my blog but women if you can add to this list please comment, maybe we can write a book. What Do Men Really Want?

1- Men want real food. However they need the healthy stuff like salad, baked chicken and fish, broccoli and lots of water. Today the Train and I will begin our path to eating the healthy stuff. Yesterday we stuffed ourselves on the real stuff, donuts, barbecued ribs and snacks til we went to bed. We love us some REAL FOOD but it’s time to get on the track to a longer, healthier life.

2- Men want recreation. Football, fishing, hunting, computer or video games, etc. Guess what? They need it too! My philosophy is let him do one of these things cause he could be doing something much worse. I did not say his recreation should take every spare minute he has but he needs time to himself just like you do.

3- Men want respect. And as much as he wants it he needs it too. The Bible even tells us in Ephesians to respect our husbands. Obviously it’s something ingrained in them that makes them whole. A man who doesn’t get respect feels taken for granted and used. (Later this week, “How To Respect A Man.”)

4- Men Want To Be Encouraged. You probably won’t find too many men that will admit to needing this but deep down they do. Encourage how? Ask him to do something for you (I am keeping my mouth shut on this one) then tell him what a good job he did. Example: My hubby washed the dishes and put them away. After I woke up from my fainting spell I saw he had not put things in the right spot. I would have never told him he did it incorrectly, no I praised and thanked him. (Another thing, if you ever expect to get him to do anything else like that, don’t criticize.) Also
for encouragement, tell him he’s strong, good-looking, has a nice butt, love his nose, his muscles or notice his haircut.

5- Men want  "intimacy". Actually they need it. It really is a fact cause I asked my hubbyand there are huge statistics that say the same. Men think about it most the time in one way or the other. The Bible also tells us not to withhold intimacy from each other within a marriage unless we are taking time away to pray and agree together to do it. ( I may also right a blog from a woman’s point of view on this subject, because it’s a bit different from a guy’s thinking.)

6- Men want companionship. Ok maybe some of them don’t want it but they need it. He needs the togetherness with a good woman who loves and supports him. She can make him stronger and more effective in life as a husband and father and even on the job. He just needs to let her in to that deeper place he’s kept hidden. Opening up to his woman can open doors to
refreshing, rebuilding, and reviving their relationship.

If a man wants a woman who will walk around the world for him all he has to do is be honest about who he is and what he wants, love, support and respect her, and be a good father to their kids. It really is not all that hard guys. ( tiny bit of joking here)

7- Men want to be appreciated. Thank him for being the provider for your family or helping you provide. Think about the positive instead of the negative. Thank him for cutting the grass, for reading the kids a story, for going to church with you. There are a multitude of things you can thank your man for. On the Father's Day card I bought The Train it said thanks for being my partner and friend and for making me happy. He needs to know how you feel even if he's not able to share his feelings as well as you. You might just teach him a thing or two.

8- Men want God. They may not know it but God created the heart with a keyhole in it. The key is God’s Son Jesus. When he lets Jesus open his heart his life will change. A man of God can change his world, his family and his marriage into something amazing.

Well there you have my little list of what a man wants. What do you have to add?

Most Embarrassing Moment in Church

As I got ready for church I looked in the mirror and thought, “Well you’re lookin’ pretty good ole gal.”  Beautiful? Maybe not, pretty, yeah, I’ll settle for that. My black and white paisley skirt, black shirt and silver belt were looking sharp on my 5’2 and one half inch body. I looked as slim as pudgy
could get, which is what I strive for with every outfit I put on my body.

Once at church I went to Lifegroup, that’s the new word for Sunday School, and then stopped off by the restroom.  As I stood at the sink checking to make sure I still looked “pretty”, a few friends came in and we talked a few moments. One of those sweet ladies was an avid reader of my blog and she told me how much she enjoyed my posts. Ahh this was a good day so far….

As I sauntered toward the sanctuary passing a multitude of people (male and female) in the
hallway, confidence and joy exuded from me. It had been a great morning with study, family, and friends and I looked forward to a good sermon from the pastor.



But you know how it feels when you know someone is watching you? I kinda felt this way so I began adjusting my black shirt and as I walked a little further I noticed my leg felt strange. Cold,
drafty... I reached around to the back of my leg and discovered to my horror my skirt was caught up in my panties! Well, all I could do at that point was pull it out and keep going.  As much as I
wanted to I did not look back to see who might have seen my pink panties, my upper thigh and whatever else was hanging out back there.

Once seated in the huge sanctuary of a few thousand my mind began to race.

1-Who could have seen my display?

2-Why didn't my friends in the bathroom notice? Or did they...?  Were they really my friends?!

3- Thank goodness I decided not to wear my full Spanx underwear.

4- Thank goodness I don't wear thongs. It might have terrified the whole crowd.

5- Why didn't anyone tell me my skirt was neatly tucked in my underwear as I made my way down the hall?

I really didn't hear too much of the first part of the service. Actually I felt a little self-conscious wondering who, if anybody seated around me saw my butt. Off and on throughout the service my
thoughts went back to this "mishap". I hurriedly left the church after the service. There was no sauntering; no confidence, no joy, no feeling pretty, and the thought did run through my mind, “Pride comes before a fall, in my case pride comes before a “tuck”.

Written for a prompt from The Red Dress Club. Show us how physical beauty can open doors or close them.  How can it make a positive or negative  impact?

Hey stop by my other blog Gracefullwomen and read my newest post What Do Women Want. Don't you want to know?

Say Now What Might Not Get Said Later

Here is the prompt we were given from The Red Dress Club  RemembRed memoir.

This week we would like you to write about how the show of affection has played a part in your memory. Choose a time when either the abundance or lack of affection (either by you or someone else) stands out, and show us.  Bring us to that time.  Help us feel what you felt.

He was tall, dark and handsome and I thought he hung the moon. It would have surprised me to find out he actually didn't because there wasn't anything my father couldn't do.

My mother, brother and I didn't see him much because he worked two jobs most the time but when he was there we made the most of it. Our family ate dinner together, watched Little House On The Prairie, Carol Burnett and Andy Griffith every week, we hugged, and said "I love you".

My mother tucked me and my little brother in every night. We said our prayers, kissed her and she told us how much she loved us. Daddy came in later too and there would be no "sweet dreams" for this little girl unless her daddy said so right before the lights went out.

4:00 am came early and Daddy had to get his day started in order to work both jobs. He was as quiet as a mouse as he crept around the house getting ready. But before he left he opened my door and slipped in. He kissed my forehead and said, "I love you sweetheart, see you tonight."

"Bye Daddy. Love you too."

I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep as my father went off to work at the car manufacturer for hours and then to pump gas at the filling station. He worked this second job one year so I could attend kindergarten. It wasn't free back in 1969.

Every morning of my childhood life I got that kiss and those words. After I grew up and moved out on my own I still heard those words every time I spoke to my Daddy. I don't hear them anymore because he slipped away to heaven in 1999 but I will forever hold them in my heart.

Growing up with love and affection displayed openly helped me be able to do the same. My husband and children never, if at all possible, go to bed without hearing how much I love them. Before we leave the house everyone gives the "I love yous" all around.

It may seem flippant and careless to some to use the words so easily but my Daddy said, " What if I left and never saw you again? I want you to know I love you." I feel the same. Say now what might not get said later.

I Never Left Her

I wrote this as a prompt from The Red Dress
Club. Write a short piece 600 words or
less beginning with This was absolutely
the last time and ending with She was


wrong.





This was absolutely the last time I would pick her up. I tell myself this every time.  My stomach knotted up the instant I saw her name come across my phone.

She was stranded at a drugstore in Atlanta. I don’t usually drive in Atlanta because it makes me nervous, so many one way streets and people standing on the street corners. Could I call her back and tell her I was lost and just not go this time?

My old 2002 Taurus was on its last leg but it was my only mode of transportation. After getting in I realized there was very little gas. Pumping gas for 3.98 a gallon put a sour taste in my mouth
knowing I was about to waste it driving to Atlanta to pick her up again. I thought about telling her she’d have to pay me for the gas but I knew my sister had already spent her entire, measly little paycheck.

Lina was standing by the doorway of the Eckerd’s smoking a cigarette when I pulled up. I waited in the car and thought she’d come get in but she just stood there in a daze. Getting out of the car frightened me, especially in this part of town, but I did. She offered me a cigarette which I happily took. Somehow a cigarette comforts me, calms the nerves.

“You know you didn’t have to come.”

“Then why did you call?”

“There’s nobody else.”

“What happened to Jared? Isn’t he still living with you?”

“He left me Tuesday. Said he couldn’t stay with me like this anymore.”

We stood outside the Eckerd until they locked the doors a few minutes later.

“You ready to go now. I have to get home and get ready for work.”

“I can’t go home. I can't be alone. I don’t want to be like this anymore.” It sounded as if those words were choking her.



At that point Lina began sobbing. She sat down on the curb and put her face in her hands and cried like I’d never seen her cry. It was as if I was looking at a small, frail, lost child that didn’t know how to get home. Then she said something that broke my heart but gave me hope. “I need help with this. My life sucks. Everybody leaves me. Jared, Cindy, Mom, Dad, you.”

This was the first time she had admitted she needed help, that there was a problem. Until now.

She was so right, she desperately needed help. However I never left her, I was always, have always been there. Maybe not in a physical way because there came a time I had to give her tough love. But I have been with her every day, sometimes every minute, with my thoughts, my tears, my
love and my prayers. Waiting to hear those words. But to say I was one of those who had left her, well she was wrong.

This short story is fiction. I do not have a sister but if I did this would probably be the way I'd respond in this situation.

We Southerners Have A Need to Feed... Everybody!

Here in the south we feed people. A lot. We feed people when a loved one passes on, when a loved one is in the hospital or comes home from the hospital. We feed pregnant moms who need some rest, those who are caring for sick loved ones, and small children. We feed people before church, after church, and during Sunday School. If we get together for any reason the first thing we do is plan the menu and have everybody sign up to bring something. If it’s homemade you get a great big ole star, if you go to Publix like I sometimes do, people will begin saying “Honey why don’t you just bring the ice, plates and cups.” That cut me deep, for just a minute, but once I got to the "get together" I forgot all about it. Although the "F" word came to mind a few times. Family, Friends, and Food.

When I was a little girl my family drove to Pendergrass, Georgia where we visited my Grandmother.  We affectionately referred to her as “Grandmother”  but she wasn't an eloquent, well spoken, elite woman of the community living in a wealthy neighborhood. No not quite, she was large, barefoot most the time, usually dressed in a big baggy house dress, a few whiskers above her lip if she forgot to shave, and a lower lip full of chewing tobacco. However, she had a lap that was a perfect fit for my brother and me and we loved to snuggle with her.

When we walked in Grandmother’s home there was a table full of food. Fried chicken, biscuits, cornbread, fresh green beans, butter peas, mashed potatoes, homegrown tomatoes, and fried okra.  Until she got too sick to cook for us my grandmother made sure we ate well.

I’ve lived in Georgia for almost my entire life but have travelled a bit.  I've tasted delicious cuisine while in Germany  to Mexican last summer in Cancun and almost everything in between. But just as Dorothy says,"There's no place like home." I say," There's no food like down here in Georgia."

Recipe for Southern Cornbread
Large bowl
Pour in cornmeal until it fills maybe about 2/3 of the bowl
Pour in 1 cup cooking oil. Use Crisco shortening if you want, my family always did.
Add 2 or 3 eggs and salt and pepper to taste.
Pour in some buttermilk until it's a moist consistency like that when you are making pancakes.
Mix it all together and pour into greased black cast iron skillet that has been seasoned.
Cook for approximately 30 to 40 minutes.
Now enjoy with a good home cooked meal or crumble up in a bowl and pour some buttermilk or sweet milk over it then add a little salt and pepper. Delicious

If you want a more exact recipe read the back of the cornmeal bag.

Have you been the recipient of some good ole southern cooking? Care to share?

When Your Friend Hurts....

I have a friend in great emotional pain because someone is purposely hurting her. She is experiencing such loss at this moment. The tears she cries could fill a lake, no, an ocean because they are constant.

What can I do? I am helpless to do anything but listen. That's what I do when she calls, I listen. Somehow it seems to ease her pain for just a moment to talk about something other than the situation. But eventually conversation comes back around to the problem. So I listen, and cry with her and try to be a shoulder for her to lean on.

And I pray. I lift her and her family up to the Father knowing He has the answer. And though the answer may not come as quickly as we would like He is working it out because I know it just can't stay like it is now.

Sometimes in the middle of a bad situation it's hard to step back and see the big picture, it's hard to pray, it's even harder to believe there's something good coming. But thank the Lord for family and friends that believe for us, that pray when we can't and stand with us during this time of despair.

I've been on both sides and God has always been faithful to me. Let me encourage you to be the friend someone needs but also be sure to take the hand of friendship when you need it too.

What Not To Say To The Grieving Person

I got a call from a friend today. Her dad passed away. I could hear great sadness in her voice although she said she was doing ok. She told me she was trying to comfort herself by thinking about his long, healthy life (he was 87 years old)before the cancer struck, and that he was in heaven now. I said, "It doesn't help much does it?" She replied, "No." I tried to give her a little hope and said,"Eventually it will help. It just takes time."

You know I've said before I believe that it's necessary to walk in someone's shoes before assuming how that person feels. Well I've walked in shoes very similar to these... twice. I was there when my dad took his last breath. Then I sat by my mom's hospital bed and waited for hours after the machines were turned off until she finally let go of this world. These were the hardest days of my life.

There were many well-meaning family and friends who commented "he's in a much better place now", or "she's no longer suffering and we should be thankful."
Both true statements but at the time I didn't want to hear those things. I guess I was just hurting so much I couldn't imagine my life without them in it. How would I go on without those long talks my dad and I used to have early in the morning over coffee? How would I survive life without my best friend and shopping partner, my mom? These were the thoughts running through my head. Life would never be the same and I knew it. My heart was broke in half and for someone to remind me I would never see either of them again just deepened the pain. Believe me I have said the same things to those who were grieving because I felt it would help, good intentions and all. Maybe this offends some who have made these comments, please know this is meant to help not harm.

As time went by eventually I truly could say it and believe it...my parents are much better off in heaven with Jesus than they are here in this place. I know they would never want to come back here. God has helped me release some of my selfishness of wanting them here and I have allowed Him to fill the emptiness.

As for those well-meaning friends and family they really did mean well and I'm thankful for them. However I have learned a different way to comfort from that situation. When someone I know experiences the death of a loved one, I listen, offer my help and give my love and support. Sometimes a lot of words just aren't necessary. You'd be surprised at how far a hug, or an "I love you" will go at a time like this.

I'm praying for my friend at this time of loss and would appreciate your prayers too.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort 2 Corinthians 1:3



As far as The Georgia Girl Writes, well it's under construction. I worked on the website most of Saturday. Ran into quite a few kinks because I'm an amateur trying to do a professional's job. But I promised a little bit of info., so here it is: I have written my first book! It's a family biography, soon to be published. Now it won't be on the bestseller's list but it is the first book that will be published with my name on it as the author!

Also, I've written a children's book and now I'm looking for an illustrator. I love the story but what's really fun is it has some extras other than just reading.
How will I publish? Praying for guidance but most likely self-publishing will be the way we go with this one.

Have an awesome night!