Has Your Ship Sailed?

It crossed my mind as my son and I talked about his college education…. how can I expect him to know what he wants to do with the rest of his life NOW when I have just found what I want to do with mine at the age of 47? Strange how our expectations of our young people are so rigid isn’t it? But it’s always been that way.

At the age of 46 I was given the opportunity to do something I had forgotten I loved to do. Turned out I can’t stop now and I’m attempting to make some sort of a living at it. I have found my calling, my gift, my talent in the middle of life.

Guess what? My ship hasn’t sailed without me. I wondered if it had because I couldn’t find my ship for so long.

It’s here! I’m on it, sailing out to sea. Sometimes it’s a rough ride, the waves toss me about. But I’m on for the ride of a lifetime.

Do you feel your ship has sailed without you? Wrong! There it is! See it over there in the harbor? Yes, that’s yours. Get on board and begin your new adventure.

You know… the one you’ve wanted to begin for a while now but you just haven’t taken the time, effort or money to try.

Maybe you just don’t have enough faith to push off and get in the water. Is that it?

Here’s the deal. You’ve been created to do it, called by your Creator to give the world around you your gift. Will you keep your light hid or will you let it shine bright? It’s your choice.

I’m sailing away. See me over there on that sailboat? Yeah, that one! Look for the Light and shine yours.

Feeling Misunderstood

Have you ever been misunderstood? It seems to happen to me often. I have good intentions and never intend to hurt or cause problems but others seem to misconstrue my actions or words the wrong way. My motives are usually pure and good but sometimes you'd think I was a deceiving snake by the way I'm perceived. Is it because I don't always conform to the way they want things done? Or because I don't agree with everthing they say? I used to but those days are gone. I love people and I am so very tactful (most the time) but I now think for myself. Maybe I take for granted that what I think is always right. Maybe I'm prideful. I think I'm gonna be thinkin' on this thing for a while.

I'm just wondering could I possibly be so blind to what I say and do? Do I see myself one way and others see me another? It is really beginning to bother me.

This is all I have to say today. Just needed to voice how I was feeling.

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Normal Is A Good Thing

I'm over at Christian Women's Online Network today. How about popping over there and checking out my post? I'll love ya forever. If you like it please let me know by clicking the "like button" and/or leave a comment and we'll talk about the post. I believe you'll want to once you read it.

Today’s post is a prompt from The Red Dress Club, Red Writing Hood. we were asked to repost our favorite Red Writing Hood prompt. Here it is and I hope you'll fall in love with the heroine Lina. This is a continuation from her story. If your interested in her past read I Never Left Her, The Prison Cell From Hell.

The buzzer buzzed and the large metal door opened. She walked through to the other side with a slow shuffle, making her way to the long table in the middle of the visitor’s area. Her visitors would be there soon, her babies would see her once again in this horrid place. They would smell the rancid body odor, see and hear things they shouldn’t and feel the shame… again.

Ben and Lacey lived with her sister now. Lynn had a spare bedroom with twin beds set up, ready and waiting for them the very day Lina was sent away to prison. The sisters had tried to better prepare the kids for their mother’s long absence by taking them shopping at Wal-Mart to pick out comforter sets. Kids get excited when they get new things right? The tears came quickly as she thought about the hugs and kisses they willingly gave her for the new bed sets and McDonald’s Happy meals on that last shopping day.

Did they understand what she had done? Could they love her knowing the kind of person she was? Forgiveness, was that even possible? Lina sat staring down at her hands. Thoughts of what those hands had done ran through her mind. Life could have been so different…

Every month when Lynn brought the kids to visit the same dread, shame, and guilt plagued her as she sat there waiting.  She felt like a  coward  during their time together.  Apologies, tears, and sorrow seemed to command their time as the three of them tried to be some sort of a family while in such a cold, barren place. Lina didn’t want this for her kids.
 “God,” she whispered, “let this time with my babies be sweet and special. You know how much I love them, let them know it too. Please take this shame and guilt away from me just for a little while. Maybe if I don't feel it they won't either.”

As Lina lifted her head Ben and Lacey ran to her, hugging her furiously, but were immediately whisked away by a tall female guard standing close by. They knew the drill but were determined to  hug their momma before getting caught.

Each had drawn a picture for Lina. Both were excited to show her their pictures and argued about  which one she would look at first. Lina took both in her hands at the same time.

Ben’s drawing was of a house full of people, 1 car in the driveway, and a woman standing large and tall in the middle of the crowd. He said, “That’s you Momma. You’re bigger than everybody else cause your specialer than everybody else.” Lina blew a kiss across the table to her little man.

Lacey’s drawing had 3 large red hearts and many smaller pink hearts all over the paper. She explained in her familiar analytical way, "See, the 3 red hearts are me, Ben and Auntie Lynn and all the little pink hearts," pointing as she spoke," are us telling you over and over we love you, we love you!” Lacey's arms outstretched wide as she demonstrated to her momma how much they loved her. Where was the shame in that?

Today the three didn’t talk about forgiveness, or about how sorry Lina was for things, or how she should have been a better mother… No, today they talked about school, friends, Lacey’s new doll's clothes and Ben's 2nd base position on his baseball team.

Today Lina was a good mother who had raised loving, caring, smart kids. She even forgot for a while where she was and why she was there. Prayer answered.

On this visitor's day Lina, Lacey and Ben were just a normal, ordinary family and that’s a good
thing.



Don't forget to check out my other blog Grace Full Women for an encouraging word or two with a little inspiration added in and a lot of God's love to boot.

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She Remains

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I didn’t know what to expect that first time I walked in her home. As I walked through her purposefully decorated living room to the kitchen I felt a little uncomfortable. My home was usually in disarray because I was raising small children and my housekeeping skills had not been perfected. So I was a little out of place when I stepped into a Better Homes and Garden magazine.

She was neatly dressed in jeans, a button up shirt and her hair perfectly set. Where was I, in a Leave It To Beaver episode?

I was escorted to her kitchen table which was already set with “real" plates, silverware, goblets, and cloth napkins. Did she keep it like this all the time or was this for me? I have to admit I felt special and she meant for me to feel that way.  Over at my house we used paper plates, cups and napkins. The easier the better. I later found out she had always used her good dishes even when her children were small. This lady was classy and refined and I wanted to learn what I could from
her.

As a young woman I was impulsive and said and did things on a whim. She taught me what it meant to think before I spoke and later I understood that I should do the same before acting too. My mentor gently and wisely taught me how to be teachable.

I have watched her world almost fall apart and yet she remains. She remains in Him just as Christ tells us to do in John 15.

 Because she remains I have a godly woman to follow.

Because she remains her family stays strong.

Because she remains many others see Jesus every day.

And because she remains her legacy will go on.

We have been in ministry together for many, many years and I’ve grown because of my encourager. There is so much I could say but there is not enough space here or anywhere to contain all she’s taught me. The love I’ve received and had the privilege to give in this relationship has been one of the most special gifts the Lord has given to me.

I am blessed to have her on my side and I consider this woman my friend, mentor and partner in the greatest call we have on our lives, loving others to Jesus. Thank you N.

This was written in response to a prompt from The Red Dress Club. Write about a mentor, someone who guided or inspired you. How did your mentor impact your life?

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Safari In Georgia? See for Yourself

Hubs and I went on a short anniversary trip to Callaway Gardens this past weekend. While away we stopped of at a safari here in Georgia. Yes I know it sounds lame and we thought it might be a dud too. But we're getting old and wild animals sticking their heads in our car sounded like a bit of a thrill. We went for it! I'm sharing some of the excitement with you today.

[caption id="attachment_1646" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Love this photo of my babe and me."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1648" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Zebra wishing he could have more food."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1651" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="We steered clear of this steer."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1652" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Some kind of bull with horns that turned up."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1653" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My favorite baby in the whole place."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1654" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Three little pigs."][/caption]

Ok so I guess after looking at the pics it looks to you more like a drive thru farm/safari than a wild safari right? Well there was the giraffe and the zebra you saw them and an ostrich which I did not post. And there was an element of danger with that big steer, bull animal coming at us! And the deer and other cows and stuff trying to eat our hands. And the drool was so gross and the big tongues, you did see the big tongues right?! Also what you haven't seen yet is the Walk About part. The animals were all caged but there were tigers and lions and bears oh my! I have pics to prove it.

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Be Set Free From Your Prison

She paced the floor of the small space of the prison cell. Back and forth, wringing her hands, her heart felt as though it would come right out of her chest. It seemed more like a dream than reality. Would they really set her free today?

Lina had been incarcerated for two years on drug charges. The time she had spent behind these bars were hard, so hard in fact there were some days she didn't want to live. Lina wasn't like some of the women who came in claiming their ground and making a name for themselves. She was the one who tried to avoid them all just to stay alive.

Many nights Lina lay on her bunk thinking about freedom. Remembering life with her kids in their small rental home. At the time it didn't seem like much but oh what she wouldn't give to be back in her own full size bed with Ben and Lacey on each side of her.  These bars that held her prisoner, that held her captive gave her the feeling of being stuck in a type of hell.

Lina's story can be related to our own story before we find freedom in Christ. We are held captive by sin and death actually sentenced to hell. But when FREEDOM comes He breaks open those prison cell doors and we are free to walk right out living a life of love, no longer chained to the sin that destroys our lives.

Unfortunately many of us don't walk out of the prison cell doors, we continue to sit on the bunk and live in our old hell. Although we are free to go and live an abundant life as Jesus tells us in John 10:10 some of us continue in defeat. We are more than conquerors, saints  not sinners, righteous no longer unrighteous but we don't have a clue.

Life as a Captive Christian is miserable. When Jesus set us free, He set us free from the chains of any sin that tries to hold us. He gives us the power to escape temptation, His Holy Spirit gives us everything we need to live a godly life. ( References below)

As Lina walked out of  prison a free woman that afternoon she realized a new life was about to begin as she ran into the arms of her two children.

As you walk out of the prison you have already been freed from realize you have a new life waiting so run into the arms of the Father and live abundantly in Him.

Galatians 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

Romans 1:7, Galatians 5:1, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Peter 1:3

Don't forget to check out Grace Full Women for more encouragement and inspiration from an imperfect woman who just wants to share God's love.

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Lina's Prison

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="190" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

Go back in the archives and pick a fiction or nonfiction piece. Perhaps
something you posted on your blog, or an old Red Dress Club prompt? Find
something that you're proud of, but something you haven't read for awhile. Do a
complete overhaul. This is a rewrite of The Prison Cell From Hell.

The prison cell was cramped, dark and beige. Just plain beige. Lina lay in the bottom bunk alone with her thoughts. Sheila was gone for laundry duty and Lina took the opportunity to breathe. When her cell mate was there she constantly berated Lina. But right now she could think about more important things.

Lina had hoped the warden would transfer her to another cell after the last incident with Sheila but it never happened. While concentrating on
plans for the future her ears perked at the sound of a cart rolling and voices
murmuring.  She lay there holding her breath whispering, “Don’t let it be her, don’t let it be.” Lina needed more time to think, to remember.

That night was horrible. "Guards! Guards!" Sheila screamed and woke Lina from a dead sleep. She sat straight up in her bunk. The cell door opened. Guards rushed in. Guns drawn. Sheila against the wall and Lina pulled to her feet.

They searched Lina and found drugs hid in her bra.

She had played it over and over again, how did it get there? How did the guards know it was there?

Now she had two and a half years added to her sentence to be locked up with a monster who hated her mere existence. Lina’s thoughts were interrupted when the monster came back. Lina
pretended to be asleep.

“Wake up you sorry lil’ girl!”

Lina lay still.

“Get up! I gotta tell you something.”

Sheila prodded Lina with her foot. “They ain’t never lettin’ you
outta this place lil’ girl.”

Fear gripped Lina as she thought of what was about to happen.

“Did you hear me? I said you gonna be here a long time cause you
gonna mess up again.”

Lina still pretended to be asleep. Sheila bent over her. Feeling
her hot, humid breathe on her left ear Lina quickly rolled over and in one
swift movement knocked her backwards causing her to fall to the floor. While
Sheila was down Lina jumped on top of her and wrapped a rolled up sheet around
her neck then pulled with the strength of a bear.

Sheila’s face turned red as she gasped for air.

“Wha….wha… do ya… want…?” She said while her face changed to
a pale beige color. Just plain beige.

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A Child and His Grief

He ran up through the backyard as fast as his little legs would carry him. With a small shovel in hand he finally reached Pa’s screened back door. Knocking hard he yelled,” Pa! Pa! Let me in, I have a prize!” The shovel now hid behind his back.

Pa opened the door and JJ came in stumbling across the walkway, holding on to the shovel as if it were his bedtime bear. “What kinda prize?”

Quickly bringing the red shovel out from behind him he said, “I brought my shovel so we can dig to China.” The excitement exuded from his little voice.

JJ loved Pa as much as his own dad. Pa taught him how to catch a baseball.  Plant tomato plants in the garden. In fact JJ had his own plant that he watered and cared for every day. Pa put JJ on his first tricycle, and even helped potty train him. These two did almost everything together.

Pa got his big shovel and JJ had his little red one.  Searching the yard they found the perfect spot behind the pecan tree. The digging began. “How deep do we have to dig 'fore we see China?”

“Don’t know son. It may take us a few weeks, or months.” Pa stopped to take a draw off his cigarette, sweat dripping from his forehead. Breathing harder than usual and coughing now and then. But he kept digging with JJ until the hole was almost a foot deep and just as wide.

“Can we dig some more tomorrow?”

“Yeah, after school. You bring your shovel and we’ll dig a little more.”

The two hard workers went inside to get a drink. Kool-Aid for JJ and a beer for Pa. They sat down on the couch, with JJ as close to Pa as he could get.  They watched Road Runner and fell asleep, JJ’s head on Pa’s shoulder.

One day after school JJ’s mom told him Pa was in the hospital.

A few weeks later she told him Pa was  leaving to go to heaven.

JJ went to visit Pa. To say good-bye? A boy of 9 years old just couldn’t grasp the meaning of heaven. Didn’t understand he would never see Pa again.

Did it mean the dig to China was over? How about the 'mater plants, how would they ever live? What  about bicycle lessons, basketball, pop flies in the outfield? He promised.

Confusion.

Anger.

Grief.

Darkness.

Lonliness.

Hurt.

JJ would not get close to anyone again. He’d keep his distance. It wasn’t worth the pain. Lesson learned.

.

This week's prompt, from Angela and Galit at The Red Dress Club for RemembeRed was to write a post that either starts or ends with the words "Lesson learned."

A true story about my son and my father.

How To Make Memories With A Grown Up Daughter

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My daughter took me on a 4 day vacation to Charleston South Carolina last week. I believe it was the best time we have ever had together as mother and daughter. This trip was my birthday present from her and I got to choose the place I wanted to go. So since I've become intrigued with American history at the age of 47 Charleston was the logical choice and its close to home.

We talked the whole drive up there and back, visited historical sites, ate at some great restaurants, took a few tours, went to the beach for a few hours and visited the market place.

I have to tell you with all the great things we did my favorite was the time we had alone laughing and talking in the hotel room, the car, walking, and while laying on the beach. I prayed before we left for God to let this be a time of memory making for both of us. A time we would never forget. And He answered that prayer and then some. The Fox (her blog name) and I were blessed beyond measure many times with great parking, seating, discount tickets, and other things. Some might say it is because we are two beautiful women and I could agree but I really believe its cause we are highly favored as children of God.

I broke out my new Sony camera and the pics are unbelievable, so clear and real. When you see some of them you'll think you are actually there. Or you'll wish you were there.





[caption id="attachment_1593" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Hyman's restaurant"][/caption]



[caption id="attachment_1600" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Peek a Boo"][/caption]

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The Man Next To Me

This week's prompt for RemembeRed asked us to write about a time that rhythm, or a lack thereof, played a role in your life. And don’t use the word “rhythm.” I'm not really a poet but I like to give it a shot once in a while. Concrit welcomed.



The man next to me is strong, virile and mine,

In his slumber he breathes in and out, slow and loud

I bind my ears with my own hands to silence the sound

But he is next to me, strong, virile and mine.





The man next to me is tall, dark and handsome

He sleeps so deeply he knows nothing of me

Head covered by plush pillows I cannot see

But he is next to me tall, dark and handsome.





The man next to me labors hard to provide

His eyes close at the door of day’s end

Mouth opens and out comes an ear shattering wind

But the man next to me labors hard to provide.





The man next to me is friend, lover and spouse

But tonight I’ve rolled him over, to the door and out of the house.