What If You Won?

There’s something to be said about the exhilarating feeling of opening the door of a casino. You have money to burn and you dream of winning big. So big that you’ll pay off the mortgage, the credit cards, the doctor bills.  You will be a hero by the time you’re done with this place. When you get home your husband will bow down and call you “Queen”.

Your girlfriends that came with you have all gone off in different directions because you, you had to work on your plan.

-----------------------------

So you’re walking around, scoping out the scene, looking for your lucky table, when you see her.  There she is, the little old lady running a Blackjack table. She will be nice and friendly so this is a good place to start the night. As you sit on one of the stools, she glares at you as if you are an idiot. “Are you betting or not?” she growls.  Fumbling around you finally place your bet and she begins to throw the cards down.  You notice it seems to bring the little old  lady pleasure when she says, “Busted.”  It’s a dead give away by the big grin that stretches across her very wrinkled face. After a while, you feel you should spread the happiness to someone else, so you leave this table before she passes out from the excitement.

As you saunter around in your new low-rise jeans, t-shirt and heels you are feeling pretty confident about your appearance. After all how many 45-year-old women can pull off this outfit and look good in it? Then as you turn the corner, you see her. Yes, it’s HER. You know the one. She’s got the low-rise jeans too but no mushroom belly.  Oh and her t-shirt seems to be a lot perkier than yours.  The long blonde flowy hair that bounces as she flirts with the guys surrounding her makes you wish you had gotten the extensions you had been considering last week.  You turn around and go the other way because it’s just too crowded over here with HER.

This experience has to get better. You go to the slots and pull the handle repeatedly. Win a little and lose even more. You’re thinking that gambling really isn’t what it’s made out to be but the environment is exciting and you’re going to see a great show tonight with the girls. Still mindlessly pulling the slot machine, you sit there, and then suddenly you hit the jackpot! The lights flashing, the sirens begin screaming, you are a winner! You won 500 bucks playing the slots.

After you claim your winnings, it is all you can do to keep yourself from going over to the little old lady’s table and gloating. However, because you have class and she has gone on her break you will not do that. Maybe you’ll drop by and dangle some of your money in front of HER. You can just picture her following you around like a little puppy. Ok, come on back to reality. She has the guys, the body and probably money too.

As you pack up to go home you ponder about how to spend the money you won. Savings account? Pay off a credit card? Or maybe you’ll just buy a pair of jeans that fit, have a good cup of Starbuck’s and take the family to a movie.

I wrote this a while back for an online magazine. I thought of it when Write on Edge challenged us to write about jeans this week. I love this topic cause I love jeans. I'd like to win $500.00 but unfortunately this never happened although I can pull off some low-rise jeans and a t-shirt.

Could You Make a List Of Things You're Thankful For?

Yesterday this would have been hard to do. Today it's easy. It's a ashame that I need to be in a certain mood to find things to be thankful for isn't it? Yeah I know you agree.
Well I'm there today, good attitude and all so here's my list:

1- I'm thankful I had my house cleaned today. It's kind of a stress reliever to know I don't have to do a deep cleaning.

2- I'm thankful for my husband who told me a few days ago that I was still a pretty woman. I needed that.

3- I'm thankful for my two kids. My son makes me laugh and my daughter keeps me straight. She called and wanted to know if I had been on the treadmill. I said, " Not yet." "Have you been on it this week?" Sheepishly I replied, "No." At this point she began her regular lecture about my health and how she needed me around so her kids could know their grandma, etc. ( She thinks way ahead. She has no children yet nor is she considering it for another 3 or 4 years) I'm getting on the treadmill soon.

4- I'm thankful for good friends. I had lunch with a special long time friend today. There's nothing quite like it.

5- I'm thankful that while I was in Publix today and my phone rang 13 times yet I did not hear it, that my daughter did hear her phone when it rang. The Hound and The Bride were out of gas on the side of the road. She took them gas and saved the day.

6- I'm thankful I can have sugar free chocolate. Bought some Russell Stover's sugar free mint patties and I am eating them without guilt.

7- I'm thankful for Lola, Gabe and Georgia, my dogs. Lola is the English Bulldog, Gabe the Sheltie and Georgia the Pomeranian. Quite a mixture and one day I'll tell you the story of how I ended up with them.

8- I'm thankful for this blogging community. I can be myself and it seems to be OK. I haven't run into the judgement I sometimes hear about. Actually I've been welcomed with open arms by most. Debbi from Photos and Facets , Susan from Coming East and Emily from My Pajama Days have been particularly encouraging along with so many more.

9- I'm thankful for my laptop, Ipod, cell phone, Wii, HD TV, blow dryer, recliner, dishwasher, coffee pot and SUV. I know I have been blessed and I am a girlie girl who really needs these things to help me along in life.

10- I'm thankful for new friends. Heather, Joni, Darlene, Tammy to name a few.

11- I'm thankful that I can talk to God anytime day or night about anything. I don't have to hide who I am or what I feel. He knows everything single tiny thing about me yet His love never fails. God is well aware of my past, present and future yet never leaves nor forsakes me. There is no one else like Him.

There's my list. Where's yours?

Orphaned

This week Write On Edge asked us to write a memoir piece beginning with the words, “I miss my childhood”.

I miss my childhood because I wasn’t an orphan back then. It still stings to hear others talking about family holidays with their parents. I guess that sounds selfish but while I am trying to make new traditions that feel awkward and forced, others are enjoying the same traditions they’ve always had.

My mom carried on with most of our basic traditions after my dad passed away even though it was difficult for all of us. She was the backbone, the one who held us together. We continued to have Christmas Eve together with my brother’s family, all of us at her home. Even with the empty chair at the table we continued on with celebrations.

 Momma died, still hate to use that word, six years ago on December 5^th. Christmas was a bomb needless to say. No tree, no decorations and few gifts. We made it through but it was the worst Christmas I have ever experienced.

I became an orphan at 41. Sounds strange I suppose but that’s what I was. That’s what I am. That’s what I will always be. I’ve come to grips with it and in no way begrudge anyone else the blessing of parents. Sometimes I’m envious that I don’t have what others have. I get angry when women talk about their mothers using bitter, sarcastic even hateful words. My thought is, “You’ll regret saying that one day.”

I’ve fallen short with my own family while setting new traditions. In trying to plan new things it usually doesn’t pan out the way I want it to. Maybe my heart isn’t in it. I know what some of you are thinking, “Get it together woman. You’ve got a family of your own to think about.” Yes I know that. I’ve told myself that for years.

Depression is a hard thing to kick even when you know you have others counting on you. In fact knowing that makes it even more overwhelming. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries of deaths are all hard days and I still struggle. The anniversary of my dad’s death was yesterday. Someone asked me, “It was 12 years ago shouldn’t you be over it by now?” I replied, “Well since you haven’t lost your dad I guess you don’t know what it’s like but I still remember what happened to him on this day every year.”

I’m not writing this to get sympathy or pity but it’s therapeutic and healing to get out into words what I hold in my heart. Many thanks to Write On Edge for pushing me to write about the hard things, the buried things when I otherwise probably wouldn’t.

Blogging Changed My Life

I sit in my favorite recliner, laptop propped just right, staring at a blank Word document. Many ideas running through my head but none seem to be right for this particular writing prompt. I just checked my stats and they are really low from yesterday and today. I’m thinking I need to come up with something fantastic. Unfortunately I just don’t have anything fantastic today.

Less than a year ago I would never have been thinking about such things. I wasn’t even familiar with the concept of blogging. My life was rather simple but I needed to find a part time job and I wanted to do it from home. My sister-in-law told me about an online company she freelanced for doing various jobs so I signed up.

I looked at the different areas of online work available and found the only one I was interested in was freelance writing. Why, I don’t know. Up to that point the only published writing I had done was a few poems placed in the county paper by my elementary teacher when I was eight years old.

My writing experience as an adult was limited to weekly Bible studies I wrote for the women’s classes I taught. But I put a bid on one freelance job that felt right. Remember I have no clue what I’m doing here. Can you believe that the job I bid on had already invited me to bid on it before I bid on it?! Does that make sense? It boils down to this, I got a freelance writing job contributing to an online women’s magazine once a week. Immediately it turned into a weekly column called Moore On Life. Not that I’m that good but I believe things happen for a purpose to lead us down the path for which we are intended. This was the beginning of my new journey.

My next job was writing a biography for an Italian family. I interviewed a couple who lived through the Depression and World War 2. It was written as a children’s book so their grandchildren would always know their family heritage. Amazing story and it created in me a love for American history that I’ve never had before.

There were other jobs from this online source but once I began blogging it consumed my time. I have spent hundreds of hours researching the internet trying to discover how to build a successful blog. I’ve read tons of blogs over the last months getting to know bloggers. My husband does not know what has happened to me because I am a computer junkie now. It takes a lot of time but I so love it.

I write all this to say my life has been changed since I entered this world of internet and blogging. I am learning to balance my time, make friends, and how to be myself to the world. Accepting that what I have to say doesn’t matter to most people has been hard at times. However if I have the chance to influence a few people that should be enough right? I truly want that to be enough for me.

Prompt from Write on Edge

This week, with Labor Day and the end of summer rapidly approaching, we asked you to write about a season of change for your character or you. It can be literal or metaphorical.

Check out my other place Grace Full Women. Inspiration from God to women.

10 Really Good Movies

1- Secondhand Lions. A tale of 2 elderly, eccentric uncles (Robert Duvall, Micheal Cain) with a hidden fortune on their property. Their young nephew Walter gets dumped off for the summer by his mother (Kyra Sedgwick) and he hears of the action adventures his uncles experienced when they were young men. Heartwarming, heartbreaking, and plenty of dogs, which you know I love. Wonderful family movie.

2- A Beautiful Mind. Russell Crowe stars in this true story of a brilliant mathematician with mental illness who receives the Nobel Peace Prize. Lengthy movie, thought-provoking, nominated for many awards. I finally saw it a few weeks ago and it now rates as one of my all time favorites. Watch this when you can set aside some time without distraction.

3- Everybody’s Fine. This movie hit home for me because our family has had similar circumstances over the last few years. The story revolves around a widower who is trying to hold his family together after the passing of his wife, who was the glue for him and his adult kids. Robert DeNiro, quite possibly one of my top 5 fav actors, gives a stellar performance in a role like I’ve never before seen him. Drew Barrymore plays one of his daughters who helps him past one of the most tragic times in his life. You do not want to miss this one.

4- A Rumor of Angels. This is a tender story of a wise old woman and a traumatized young boy who witnessed his mother’s death in a car accident. Vanessa Redgrave stars in this bittersweet movie that did not get rave reviews mainly because of its spiritual content. I enjoyed it because I do believe in a hereafter and the comfort that it brings. I do not necessarily believe it the way the movie describes it but I was ok with the presentation for a fiction movie.

5- The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw in the story of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family. Great family movie, one scene not suitable for children.

6- All the Twilight movies. You know the vampire/werewolf/teenage girl love story saga? Love them all!

7- Meet the Parents. Okay I had to put a comedy on the list and this one I love. I have watched this one umpteen times. Ben Stiller and once again my man Robert DeNiro. hilarious!

8- Gran Torino. Clint Eastwood as a disgruntled Korean War vet who sets out to reform his neighbor, a young Hmong teenager, who tried to steal his prized possession: his 1972 Gran Torino. A story of friendship, death, gangs and racism but this movie gives a taste of the real world.

9- The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as two men dying of cancer who set out to fulfill a list of things they want to do before they die. In the process they become the best of friends. This movie draws one into thinking about mortality and living life to the fullest.

10- Independence Day and Men in Black only because Will Smith is hilarious and aliens are an interesting concept. I mean I like both movies but Will and aliens are a winning combo at the theater or on DVD.

It's your turn. Got any suggestions?

My Facebook Fans Whoo Hoo on Thankful Tuesday!

Today is Thankful Tuesday here at Pics! I asked my Facebook Fans to tell me what they are celebrating. So I have my Pom Poms up in the air and I’m shaking them like crazy because we have so much to CELEBRATE here at Pic, Prayers and Pom Poms! Here we go:

1-    I’m so excited that I have 30 Facebook fans. I know it’s not huge but I am thankful for my faithful friends who "liked" me this week. These are peeps who want to thank and praise God for the great things He has and is doing. And maybe I'm kidding myself but maybe they want to read my blog too.

2-    Chelle has so much she’s thankful for: “ Woo Hooing because we serve an Awesome God and He’s showing up and showing out in my life. I am so humbled by everything He is doing and wake up every day breathless to see what is going to happen.”

3-    Jennifer says,” I am a big FAN of what God is doing in & through your life!!! WooHoo!!!"  Thanks my sweet friend. I’m a fan of what He’s doing too!

4-    I celebrated time with hubby and wrote a post about it here.

5-    Me again. I thanked God for second chances and my niece Jennifer Amened it!

6-    My new friend Joni says, “Thanking God for the storms......I lean on HIM more and trust Him as He is my anchor!” I praised Him cause He’s faithful.

7-    My niece Christina (Tina) says, “I am thankful for this baby and that he is so healthy and hasn’t had no complications through this pregnancy and thankful for Taylor and my mom and thankful to still have my dad and thankful for my whole family and that I’m still here and thankful that I’m loved!!!” You are loved my dear.

8-    Chelle comes back again and celebrates some more, “I am thankful and blessed to see another day and to be able to share the love of Jesus with others. I am surrounded by wonderful friends who have become like extended family and I able to practice pouring into to others and change lives. Thank you to Jesus for letting me know I was someone worth dying for…” Oh my gosh does that not speak volumes! Pom Poms people!

9-    Last but not least Chelle, whom I’ve yet to meet personally but intend to spend some time with very soon gave me great encouragement when she said, “Woo hoo for Pics, Prayers and Pompoms!! “ Yeah!

10- I'm thankful for Shining Lighthouse Ministries.

That’s what this is all about on Thankful Tuesdays. Join the rest of us as we pull out our symbolic or literal Pom Poms and cheer for anything, anyone, and thank God for His many blessings.

If you’d like to receive regular updates from this blog look in the right side and find the subscribe button and either follow or subscribe by email. Just do it and join in the CELEBRATION!

Oh how I’d love it if you’d join in the fun on Facebook. Just sign in and search for Pics, Prayers and Pompoms, then “Like” my page.  Am I asking too much from you? We’re building community here folks with all likeminded people, it’ll be worth it.

Celebrating Togetherness Through Big Brother TV

life.com

I'm a reality TV fan. Is that sad or what? However it promotes camaraderie between The Train and myself. He watches Big Brother 13 and Survivor with me. It's amazing how reality TV brings us together and makes for great conversation.

Train: Hey I watched a fight on YouTube between Shelly and Jordan today. Wonder if they'll show it tonight?

Me: Oh I want to see it. I hope they do. Well if they don't I can see it on Youtube too.

Train: I saw an interview with Jeff after he got kicked out of the house. Connie asked him why he thought he got voted out. He said, "Cause I'm Big Jeff." He was joking but I hate it when he refers to himself in the first person.

Me: I do to. It's weird. Did he say why he really thought they got rid of him?

Train: He thinks they're all jealous of his success playing the game.

Then the two of us settled down and watched another episode and I actually got to see the fight between Shelly and Jordan, the fight between Shelly and Jeff. And the fight between Shelly and Adam. Wow was there anybody Shelly wasn't fighting with or lying to last night? Nope not really.

But we love it that Porsche is stepping up her game just like Jeff told her to. If you don't watch or missed it Jeff put Porsche on the block and said he did it to give her the chance to play the game insinuating she'd not been playing up til then. Hey Hey Jeff she played well bud when she won the Power of Veto and left you on the block instead of using it on you. Even under your intimidation and prodding she stood her ground.

Then we watched as Porsche also won Head of Household this week but released Pandora's Box on the house. Although she won $5000 it brought back pairs. Pairs will play the game together, win and lose together for one week. Bad, bad timing for this to come into play.

Celebrating today time with my honey. Love is full of surprises and I never thought I'd see the day I would watch 26 episodes of National Geographic documentaries about WW2. And. Like. It. Even more surprising is the Train enjoying Big Brother with me! God does work in mysterious ways doesn't He?

Only In His Mind...

As he lay in the hospital bed I watched as he drew in a deep breath as if he was smoking a cigarette. I had seen him do this thousands of times over the years, but this was a hallucination. The pain medication had taken him to a place he loved, a place of indulgence with cigarettes, beer, and all his favorite food. His imagination took him there because he had not been allowed to go for weeks since his colon ruptured.

My father was a strong, virile man, my hero. When this awful tragedy happened I watched as he became a weak, frail man who didn’t know the world around him. And this day he was no different. He was enjoying his imaginary game so I played right along.

“Hey can you get me a chocolate milkshake?” I shook my head and said,” Are you sure about that?” He took another long draw from his Winston and said, “Oh yeah, it will feel good on my throat, I’m so thirsty.” Knowing he could not have anything pass between his lips I told a lie, something I didn’t do very often to my daddy, “Ok, next time I go to McDonald’s I’ll bring back a chocolate milkshake.” That seemed to satisfy for the moment and he replied, “Thanks sweetie and how bout gettin’ me another pack of cigarettes too?”

When I left his room that day I did not know it would be the last conversation I would have with him. The next day he was put into a drug induced coma and passed away a week later. He is in heaven waiting on me now.

We found two cigarette butts in his heavy marble ashtray at home. I keep them in a Ziploc bag, in a box, in my closet, in my mind, in my heart…




This was originally written as a response for The Red Dress Club but I am submitting it today for a new prompt from The Dare To Share link up Loss over at the The Lightening and the Lightening Bug.

Set Free

Dark, nothingness, self destruction.

Help, love, acceptance.

Hope, confidence, wholeness.

Celebration! LIFE! Freedom!



Prompt from my friends at  Write on Edge. Great challenge to write a story in a tweet. 140 characters.

Mother/Daughter Look Alike

The lovely Fox (daughter) and I took a trip to Charleston in July. We wanted to see if we looked alike so we took some crazy pics of ourselves. this is the result of the best time we've ever had together! This is also Day 2 of Shamelessness, Act A Fool.

I know feet aren't something everybody likes to look at but I like nice looking feet. These are nice feet don't you think?

 Here we did our eyes. Similar in many ways huh? Even the shape of our eyebrows. The Fox can raise one eyebrow higher than the other when she laughs real hard or smiles real big. I can't do that.

Trying for noses here. We knew they were very different before we took the pic because she has her daddy's nose only it's more womanly,,, does that make sense?

Now I know we don't look very smart here but we were trying to see if our lips were the same. I'm not sure if there's a resemblence because it's hard to tell with all the puckering going on.

Hands. I love hands. However after viewing this pic I discover just how wrinkled my hands are. So I am in a regular routine of handcare now. I'll take another pic in a few weeks and we'll see if they have improved.

After a very long day of touring Charleston and acting crazy with the camera the giggles took over and I could not stop laughing. Then The Fox got started and this was the result. We're pretty good with a camera don't you think. I mean in hysterics and still taking pics!

So do you think we look alike? Do your kids look like you?