Friday, July 8, 2011

Is There Life Out There?

This is a prompt from The Red Dress Club. For this week, take what you know out of your comfort zone. Try a new genre, a new time period, a geography you've only dreamed of, fantasy or historical instead of contemporary fiction, try the male POV if you usually write women. Or
vice versa. Switch it up. See where it takes you.        Concrit is welcome.

This is my first attempt at this genre of writing, so please bear with me.

“I thought you believed in God?” Mason stood staring at her.

Looking back intently Rachel said, " You know I do. I just
think if He created our planet with all this intelligent life then why couldn’t
He do it somewhere else in the universe?”

“I just didn’t realize you believed such things.”

“You don't?"

“ I mean I’ve always kind of thought that maybe it was possible. There’s a lot of weird things that happen  to make me think there may be someone or something out there."

Rachel’s big round stomach bulged as she jumped off the hood of the car. The baby inside kicked hard reinforcing her belief in a Creator.

Mason walked over from his vehicle and stood right in front of her. He placed his hand on her belly. Mason wanted this child to call him daddy, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. “Will he take care of you and the baby?”

Rachel could barely look him in the eyes. It was hard to face the truth of it all. “He said he would let me keep her and that he’d always be there when I needed him. I believe that’s true, I have to believe it.”

Mason wanted to hold her. She needed a man like him. Her child needed a father to be there all the time. He would do that for them, but it just wasn’t going to work out that way.

Rachel moved closer though she didn’t dare touch Mason. There was too much at stake. “Mason, if there were intelligent life on another planet do you think we could survive there?”

Mason wanting so much to be in another place and time with Rachel as much as she did replied, " We can dream can’t we?” With that they each got back in their separate vehicles and drove away.

Rachel pulled up in the drive of her home and sat in the car dreading going in the door. He would be waiting.

Mason sat in his vehicle daydreaming about a life with Rachel and their baby girl. It was a dream
that would remain just that…a dream. She belonged to Alec as did many other women on Astra.

Could it possibly be true? If only there was a planet other than Astra that could support human life he'd find a way to get Rachel and the baby there... safe away from Alec.

35 comments:

Lance said...

As a dad in a blended family where two kids sometimes call me dad but most times don't I liked the part where Mason touched her belly. That spoke to me. It made me dig him.

I like the tone of the whole thing. That uncertainty that inhabits the characters.

thanks commenting and subscribing tome...im honored

varunner said...

Really interesting piece. I'm not a big fan of sci-fi but I liked the personalization of your writing - it made the characters so real.

Lex said...

This is a heartfelt piece, for sure. As I was reading, I was thinking about how I've thought about life on another planet & that we can't be the only ones here. It seems you have, too.

I like how you closed this piece. It pulled everything together for me. I enjoyed popping in to read & I'm sure I'll be back. :)

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks Lex. I enjoyed trying something new.

juliemooreonlife said...

Hey I appreciate that. It's really hard for me to write without making it personal.

juliemooreonlife said...

Trying SCi-Fi is certainly out of my comfort zone but I'm gonna give it a shot. Thanks for the feedback.

lindsay @ you are here said...

This was a great piece! I loved the tenderness, awkwardness and the fact that it made me want to know more about them. You revealed just enough to make it interesting!
Maybe you will continue the story?? :)

juliemooreonlife said...

I enjoyed doing something different so much I think I will continue. I've had thoughts on where it could go all morning. Thanks so much for the cool feedback.

DM said...

What a fabulous start into Sci-fi!! I think you have something great started here. You've established 3 characters we already care about just in this short piece, and I want to know if they ever get to be together. Excellent writing!!

I took on a sub-genre of Sci-fi that has its own set of challenges this week.

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks for your great feedback. Encourages me to try again.

Galit Breen said...

You totally and completely went for it- I'm swooning for you! A new genre, families, beliefs, other worlds. YIPPY for you!

Loved this part -He placed his hand on her belly- it was very sweet and tender and showed so very much of his feelings and their relationship.

XO

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks Galit. It was fun to try something different and I think I'll continue the story.

le chef said...

Wow. Brave to go for the Sci-Fi. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm not liking this Alec guy..... kinda sounds like a pig.

Yuliya said...

Oh what fun! Now I haven't been here before so I wouldn't have known that this was out of your comfort zone, you nailed it! A couple of spelling/ grammar boo boos here and there but nothing major, give it another quick read through though to clean it up. (like this for example "dreading going the door")

juliemooreonlife said...

Oh thanks so much for pointing that out and thanks for stopping by.

juliemooreonlife said...

Yep that's where I'm going with him. Gotta have a villian. Thanks for stopping by.

Terry said...

I wasn't brave enough to step out of my comfort zone this week...so I didn't post. Sci-Fi was one thing I had thought about. But I never read enough to know how to write it. I love how you handled it...almost more like you would usually write, but then a spin. Nice job!!

May said...

You went where I would be too chicken to go and you made it totally relevant to the reader. Bravo!

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks so much May. I loved it!

juliemooreonlife said...

Hey thanks I took a chance and liked doing it. There's still time go ahead and let the writing juices flow girl!

Katie said...

Great jump into the sci-fi genre!!! I thought about attempting it but didn't have the guts. You did it well though! The longing between Mason and Rachel is palpable. I feel so badly for them and really already despise this Alec guy. Ugh. I'd love to know more about Astra and your characters. Nicely done!

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks Katie, I think they'll be more. I'm kind of curious if they get together myself.

Ixy said...

Ooh I liked the twist at the end!

Tina said...

It would have been neat to see a UFO fly by while the two were talking. Or if one would have flown by while he was sitting in his car.
Too much?

Loved it!

juliemooreonlife said...

No not too much! A great idea actually. You may just see something like that in the next installment.

logyexpress said...

This was fun to read. Mason sounds like good people (or alien???).

comingeast said...

As a lover of sci-fi, I thought this was great! You hooked your reader in from the start because the characters are people to care about. I wanted them to be together as much as they wanted it. Now I want to know what's going to happen next.

juliemooreonlife said...

Hey thanks Susan! I want them together too, but we'll see what's in their fate.

juliemooreonlife said...

Mason is good people, or alien? We won't know till later in the story. Thanks for stopping by.

Terry said...

So..you cheered me on, and I did it. There had been a whole lot of silence on the commenting and I thought OH NO. But finally, a few are rolling in. I had fun trying...and laughing at my attempt. So thanks for the push!

kelly said...

I really liked the twist of different worlds!! I wasn't sure at first as I was reading, but you pulled it off!! Well done!!

I hope you continue it...

juliemooreonlife said...

Thanks Kelly. Come by again and I'm headed over to your blog.

CDG said...

What I loved about this is that it doesn't read like "sci-fi" until the reveal at the end.

I love some sci-fi, especially when there's subtlety and cleverness.

juliemooreonlife said...

Hey thanks so much. I tend to write personally, just can't move beyond it.

The Secret’s At The Cemetery – Julie Moore On Life... said...

[...] began last week thanks to a prompt from The Red Dress Club You can enjoy the first part here. Astra is another place in this vast universe but it is very similar to earth in many ways. Rachel [...]